Living, Loving, Learning

It truly was.  Bruce had been out of town on our anniversary (Sept. 14th) so we had planned to spend last Friday night in Nashville to belatedly celebrate.  All things considered, this night could not come at a better time for us. My Dad and Step Mom met us down there and took the kids for the night.  We made the most of this gift of time and stayed at a very cool hotel, Opryland, ate at a fabulous new restaurant, Rolf and Daughters, and went to see a brilliant light installation at Cheekwood Gardens by the artist Bruce Monroe.   We left most of the cancer talk back in Madisonville and just focused on celebrating us and it was so refreshing.   On Saturday we headed over to Trader Joe's to stock up on healthy and power packed snacks for Bruce.  He has to double his calorie and protein intake during radiation and for a month afterwards and try to average 6 -7 small meals a day. Then we had a great lunch with my Dad and Step Mom a...

As I was getting ready to head to the hospital today Bruce called to tell me that his radiation treatment is on hold pending approval from our insurers.  Arghhhhhh.  As of now we are still waiting.  Basically they will fit him into the schedule as soon as the approval goes through.  From what we understand at this point it's not an if, just a when.  If I let myself I could get super amped up and frustrated this afternoon but I'm not going there.  It must be thanks to all the love y'all have been sending us today!  I am trusting in the perfect unfolding and that everything will happen when it's meant to, be that this afternoon, tomorrow or Monday.  On to more fun subjects!  We have been reading this book to Lucy the last few autumns.  This year she was really excited about making a pie using the recipe in the book.  Of course, this is just the sort of project her Mama can get into it.  I've never actually made a pie from...

Cancer Lesson #48: If your cancer doctor calls you after 5 pm at home, it probably isn't just to chat.  Bruce got a call from Dr. S last night.  He had been looking at the CT scan taken earlier that day just for radiation prep and noticed a change in the tumor size.  The tumor has made "significant growth" since the CT scan taken less than 2 weeks ago.  This is not good.  Dr. S asked Bruce to go straight to a pharmacy that night to get a cervical collar and that he needs to wear it pretty much 24 hours a day.  The size of the tumor is threatening the strength of the vertebrae it's attached to.  Nobody is sure at this moment how compromised the vertebrae is, but if it does crumble, Bruce is risking paralyzation.  This is tough stuff to deal with.  Very real, very scary.  Although the collar is doing a super important job in protecting Bruce's neck from collapse, it is also a huge visual reminder of what is happening.  There is n...

Wow, wow wow, we feel soooo supported.  Thank you all for the myriad of wonderful ways you have shared your love and light and support since we have decided to go "public" with this.  It truly means so so much to us!!!     This morning was kind of stressful.  I had the kids dressed, lunches packed, backpacks ready, walking out the door to school when Lucy throws up...twice.  Yuck, I know, but this is real baby.  Of course, I felt terrible for her but also a little panicky because this morning was Bruce's appointment to get set up for the radiation treatments and I knew he really wanted me to be there.  ARGHHHHH!!!!  Pretty tough to be in two places at once.  Thankfully, my friend Hilary was willing to rush right over and sit with Lucy while I went with Bruce.  I wanted to let you all know that Bruce and I were able to read many of your texts, messages and emails in the waiting room and he was really feeling boosted when i...

So, when deciding on a parenting technique waaaaay back in the beginning of this whole child rearing experience, Bruce and I decided on a technique based on fierce love, routine, high expectations with the support to reach them and mindfulness.  I will, immodestly perhaps, say that we are pretty pleased with these 2 young ones that we have the privilege to parent.   There have been many, MANY, difficult times, epic parenting failures, and a constant adjustment of our technique to meet the kids where they were in the moment.  But somehow, having this conversation felt bigger, more important, more significant than any that had come before.  I usually rely on my gut instinct when dealing with any important subject but on this one, I went to the experts.  I did some reading and gleaned a few tips on talking to kids about a parent having cancer.  The most important thing I read during my research was that most kids don't know what cancer is or means.  ...

This is not the way in which I imagined getting the blog going again.  Bruce and I try to live a pretty authentic life for the most part.  We believe in relationships, we believe in community and we believe in the power of positive energy.  We are beginning an unknown path, a journey we never asked for, never dreamed we would take.  I write to you now, inviting you to join us in this sacred space.  We need your encouragement, your wishes for health and strength and vitality, your healing prayers, your spirit and your energy.  We need to call upon our tribe, far and wide, to join us in this battle to stay positive and beat cancer.  In return I will do my best to keep this blog updated with reports of how Bruce's treatments are going and tales of what life is like right here, right now.  It may not always be pretty, but I will strive to keep it real. OK, motives revealed, y'all ready for the nitty gritty? Bruce has cancer, single plasmac...