Living, Loving, Learning

Hi there!  Long time, no write, eh? The last month has seen us busy enjoying soccer games, social events, fall activities and of course, not at all enjoyable, Bruce's radiation treatments.   While we have kept up the fun stuff to keep the kids' lives as normal as possible, I've got to tell you, it's been a tough journey.  The radiation treatments have been really really hard on Bruce's body.  Of course, there is exhaustion, a pretty normal response for a body fighting such a tough battle.  The skin on his neck is bright red (looks like a bad sunburn) and his beard and hair on his neck has stopped growing.   He has been struggling with eating for a few weeks, telling me that everything tastes like it is wrapped in tinfoil, and although I keep pushing the Ensure on him, he has lost 10 pounds in the last month.  But the worst has just started.  Yesterday he started to develop an infection in his mouth that is a result of the treatments....

We've had more great news this week!!!  The bone marrow scan and urine analysis have come back clean, meaning there doesn't seem to be cancer anywhere else in Bruce's body and it has not progressed into Stage 2.  Whhhhhhhoooooooohooooooooo!  This is such a HUGE relief!!  There are still cancer cells showing up in the latest blood work but Dr. K attributes this to the still present tumor and feels sure that after the radiation treatment is finished this will also come back clean.  Bruce is starting to feel the side effects of the radiation treatment.  He is definitely more tired and battles waves of exhaustion.  He is dealing with periodic dry mouth but using a special gel and mouthwash along with lots of water to treat it.  He is starting to get a sore throat but it usually goes away by midday.  The most dramatic side effect so far is the changing of his taste buds.  Anything even slightly spicy(mild chili) or herby (rosemary bread)...

  We had an incredible weekend camping at Big Ridge State Park in TN.  The weather was absolutely perfect, mid 70's during the day, low 50's at night...really we couldn't have asked for better!  We chose this park, frankly, because a month ago when we tried to make reservations the Smokey Mtn. National Park was totally booked up.  We wanted to be somewhere in that general area and Big Ridge seemed like a kid friendly place.  Now we are sooooo happy we had not reserved a spot at a national park.    There were so many great moments but I'll just give you the highlights.  We camped with our dear friend Devin which was such a treat.  She is such a sweet and fun loving person and having her with us enhanced the experience.   She arrived a day before us and left a day before us and there was lots of "I wonder what Devin is doing now??" from Lucy after she had left.    When I told Lucy that ...

Hi Friends.  I'm delighted to report that there is not much to report!  Bruce's radiation therapy is on going and Dr. S has already seen the tumor shrink a bit!  YEAH!  Bruce has started to experience bouts of dry mouth and is definitely more worn out than usual but it is very tolerable for him.  Test results continue to trickle in, all saying that this cancer has NOT progressed into stage 2.  This is phenomenal news.  There are more tests results we are waiting for, such as the bone marrow biopsy (OUCH!) that he had this morning, but we are feeling more confident every day that this radiation treatment will be successful and Bruce will be cancer free by Thanksgiving.  I can't thank you often enough for all of your support.  There were times over the last month that we could have really gone to a dark place emotionally but your texts, comments, messages, calls, gifts, hugs, cards, etc. have continually and repeatedly picked us ...

...was pretty much what the neurosurgeon, Dr. B, told us today.  YAYYYYYYYYY!!  It feels like the news has gotten progressively worse with each doctor visit but today, the tide turned.  Dr. B looked at all the scans and test results and told us that he thinks the vertebrae is not too badly damaged by the tumor and that it should have no problem regenerating after radiation.  Apparently the part of the vertebrae that is most damaged is on the back of it which is not the weight baring side.  He does not foresee the need for surgery AND Bruce doesn't even have to wear the neck brace regularly.  Such amazing news!!  He may still wear it from time to time as it takes a bit of the pain away, but mostly it's just uncomfortable and he is so glad to shed it!  We will have a follow up with Dr. B in six weeks and in the mean time we are going to celebrate this good news!   Bruce has had the first 2 radiation treatments.  It looks like th...

It truly was.  Bruce had been out of town on our anniversary (Sept. 14th) so we had planned to spend last Friday night in Nashville to belatedly celebrate.  All things considered, this night could not come at a better time for us. My Dad and Step Mom met us down there and took the kids for the night.  We made the most of this gift of time and stayed at a very cool hotel, Opryland, ate at a fabulous new restaurant, Rolf and Daughters, and went to see a brilliant light installation at Cheekwood Gardens by the artist Bruce Monroe.   We left most of the cancer talk back in Madisonville and just focused on celebrating us and it was so refreshing.   On Saturday we headed over to Trader Joe's to stock up on healthy and power packed snacks for Bruce.  He has to double his calorie and protein intake during radiation and for a month afterwards and try to average 6 -7 small meals a day. Then we had a great lunch with my Dad and Step Mom a...

As I was getting ready to head to the hospital today Bruce called to tell me that his radiation treatment is on hold pending approval from our insurers.  Arghhhhhh.  As of now we are still waiting.  Basically they will fit him into the schedule as soon as the approval goes through.  From what we understand at this point it's not an if, just a when.  If I let myself I could get super amped up and frustrated this afternoon but I'm not going there.  It must be thanks to all the love y'all have been sending us today!  I am trusting in the perfect unfolding and that everything will happen when it's meant to, be that this afternoon, tomorrow or Monday.  On to more fun subjects!  We have been reading this book to Lucy the last few autumns.  This year she was really excited about making a pie using the recipe in the book.  Of course, this is just the sort of project her Mama can get into it.  I've never actually made a pie from...

Cancer Lesson #48: If your cancer doctor calls you after 5 pm at home, it probably isn't just to chat.  Bruce got a call from Dr. S last night.  He had been looking at the CT scan taken earlier that day just for radiation prep and noticed a change in the tumor size.  The tumor has made "significant growth" since the CT scan taken less than 2 weeks ago.  This is not good.  Dr. S asked Bruce to go straight to a pharmacy that night to get a cervical collar and that he needs to wear it pretty much 24 hours a day.  The size of the tumor is threatening the strength of the vertebrae it's attached to.  Nobody is sure at this moment how compromised the vertebrae is, but if it does crumble, Bruce is risking paralyzation.  This is tough stuff to deal with.  Very real, very scary.  Although the collar is doing a super important job in protecting Bruce's neck from collapse, it is also a huge visual reminder of what is happening.  There is n...

Wow, wow wow, we feel soooo supported.  Thank you all for the myriad of wonderful ways you have shared your love and light and support since we have decided to go "public" with this.  It truly means so so much to us!!!     This morning was kind of stressful.  I had the kids dressed, lunches packed, backpacks ready, walking out the door to school when Lucy throws up...twice.  Yuck, I know, but this is real baby.  Of course, I felt terrible for her but also a little panicky because this morning was Bruce's appointment to get set up for the radiation treatments and I knew he really wanted me to be there.  ARGHHHHH!!!!  Pretty tough to be in two places at once.  Thankfully, my friend Hilary was willing to rush right over and sit with Lucy while I went with Bruce.  I wanted to let you all know that Bruce and I were able to read many of your texts, messages and emails in the waiting room and he was really feeling boosted when i...

So, when deciding on a parenting technique waaaaay back in the beginning of this whole child rearing experience, Bruce and I decided on a technique based on fierce love, routine, high expectations with the support to reach them and mindfulness.  I will, immodestly perhaps, say that we are pretty pleased with these 2 young ones that we have the privilege to parent.   There have been many, MANY, difficult times, epic parenting failures, and a constant adjustment of our technique to meet the kids where they were in the moment.  But somehow, having this conversation felt bigger, more important, more significant than any that had come before.  I usually rely on my gut instinct when dealing with any important subject but on this one, I went to the experts.  I did some reading and gleaned a few tips on talking to kids about a parent having cancer.  The most important thing I read during my research was that most kids don't know what cancer is or means.  ...

This is not the way in which I imagined getting the blog going again.  Bruce and I try to live a pretty authentic life for the most part.  We believe in relationships, we believe in community and we believe in the power of positive energy.  We are beginning an unknown path, a journey we never asked for, never dreamed we would take.  I write to you now, inviting you to join us in this sacred space.  We need your encouragement, your wishes for health and strength and vitality, your healing prayers, your spirit and your energy.  We need to call upon our tribe, far and wide, to join us in this battle to stay positive and beat cancer.  In return I will do my best to keep this blog updated with reports of how Bruce's treatments are going and tales of what life is like right here, right now.  It may not always be pretty, but I will strive to keep it real. OK, motives revealed, y'all ready for the nitty gritty? Bruce has cancer, single plasmac...

The big guy turns 9 today!!  Woot Woot!  AND it's the first day of summer vacation...what a lucky dude!  We are having a week of celebrations and he is enjoying every minute of it.  Birthday Interview Griffin 2013   Age? 9 Grade? Will be in 4 th ! Your teachers this year? Mrs. Herring, Mrs. Boyd What activities/sports/clubs were you involved in this year? Soccer (Spring & Fall), Basketball, Super Saturdays, Archery, Talent Pool What pets do you have? Lottie, Omar, Zed What do you want to be when you grow up? A scientist that travels the world studying animals Where is 1 place you really want to go? Africa   What is your favorite…………. o    Subject in school? Science o    Meal? Spaghetti Carbonera o    Fruit? watermelon o    Vegetable? Carrots o    Dessert? Cupcakes o    Candy? Cadbury Cream Eggs o    Drink? Milk o  ...

Wow!!!  It's been a loooong time since I've posted here.  I can't break with tradition though....and so in honor of Lucy's FIFTH birthday........ Birthday Interview   Age? 5 Grade? Pre-school (2 nd year) Your teachers this year? Ms. Amy, Ms. Karen, Ms. Sonya What activities/sports/clubs were you involved in this year? soccer What pets do you have? Lottie, Zed and Omar What do you want to be when you grow up? Zookeeper Where is 1 place you really want to go? Cape Cod to swim at the beach   What is your favorite…………. o    Subject in school? Play outside o    Meal? tacos o    Fruit? Strawberries and Raspberries o    Vegetable? Green beans o    Dessert? cupcakes o    Candy? Smartie Jelly Beans o    Drink? Gatorade (Thank you, Granddad Lowbridge! ;) o    Animal? Dragons o    Thing to do inside? play with Baby Alive o ...